Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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