Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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