Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
