i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
