**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
