no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
