Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
