Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
