I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize