Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Randomize
