I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
i need some magic done to my vagina
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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