you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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