just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
