bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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