I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
