he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
