Do you still have your period?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My balls are so social today.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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