My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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