I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
