what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
