oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
