In the future we'll all be gay
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
