I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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