I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
