I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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