KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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