Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
