my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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