dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
