dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
