We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
