did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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