Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
