He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
