Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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