I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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