Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize