Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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