Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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