A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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