Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
