yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize