There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
