I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
