I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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