Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Randomize
