Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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