Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
