OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
