New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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