meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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