Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
