she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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