..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
