dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
soo... how was my night?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
