Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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