The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm going to jail i love you
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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