And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
