I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
