and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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