I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Randomize
