hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
