It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
