Non-Jews are for practice
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
should my penis look like a turkey
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
