where am i from again
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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