I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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