I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
